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Technology Has Taken Over My Life


"Signs That Technology Has Taken Over Your Life"

Your stationery has fax number, 2 e-mail addresses, & your Internet address.
You have two or more Internet Service Providers.
You disdain people who use low baud, screen refresh or MHz rates.
You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires.
You need to fill out a form with a typewriter; but you only know computers with laser printers.
You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon.
You think jokes about being unable to program a VCR are stupid.
You own a set of itty-bitty screw-drivers and you actually know where they are.
You think of gadgets as "friends," but forget to send real friends birthday cards.
You have a good copier and a fax, but your toaster turns bread into charcoal.
You use all the Internet terms in conversations without even thinking about it.
You sign cards by putting :-) next to your signature.
And worse: you can think of nineteen keystroke symbols that are far more clever!
The fact that the term "CD" could also refer to finance/music rarely occurs to you.
In a computer store, you answer the customers' questions; the salesperson listens.
You know hundreds of e-mail address and URLs, but not your social security number.
You stop saying "phone number" and replace it with the term "voice number."
You read computer manuals faster than everyone else reads fiction novels.
At computer trade shows you map out your path of the exhibit hall in advance.
And finally... You actually understood all the jokes in this message.
Hello. Yes, you. You, looking at this screen for hours on end, online. You, bleary-eyed. You, an addict. Have you looked in the mirror lately? Been outside? Know what day of the week it is? Your name was given to us by a spouse or family member who is concerned about your internet addiction. At Internetaholics Anonymous, we can help. We're a non-profit society of recovering addicts like yourself that provides support and counseling through weekly meetings designed to help you cope with your problem. We feature a twelve-step recovery program and in extreme cases, interventions. Although it is our firm belief that you are never "cured", you most certainly can recover. We have designed a brief checklist to determine if you are an addict. Do you: Have twitches of the hand when you walk by your terminal? Check e-mail more than five times a day? Spend more time chatting than eating or sleeping? Surf aimlessly with no direction, if only to be online? Leave your name and information at countless sites if only to hope you'll receive a reply one day from a company you'll never do business with anyway? Log on before important personal habits, such as meal preparation, hygiene or bodily functions? Have red, swollen eyes that hang halfway out of your head? Spend hours online on a holiday from work, where you'd usually be griping about your carpal tunnel syndrome? See smoke arising from your computer or WebTV box? All of the above? If you answered yes to four or more questions (or chose #10), you have a problem. Please call us at Internetaholics Anonymous at: 1-800-LOGOFFNOWFORSWEETJESUSSAKES. We're here, we're free, and we're confidential. The first step to recovery is admission that you have a problem. Call us today. If you can power off to free up your phone line, that is.



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