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Falkland Island Crisis
A British General had sent some of his men off to fight for their
country in the Falkland Island Crisis.
Upon returning to England from the South American island, three
soldiers that had distinguished themselves in battle were summoned to
the General's office.
"Since we weren't actually at war," the General began, "I can't give
out any medals. We did, however, want to let each of you know your
efforts were appreciated."
"What we've decided to do is to let each of you choose two points on
your body. You will be given 2 pounds sterling for each inch of
distance between those parts. We'll start on the left, boys, so what'll
it be?"
Soldier 1: "The tip of me head to me toes, sahr!"
General: "Very good son, that's 70 inches which comes to 140 pounds"
Soldier 2: "The tip of the finger on one outstretched hand to the tip
of the other, sir!"
General: "Even better son, that's 72 inches which comes to 144
pounds"
Soldier 3: "The tip of me dick to me balls, sahr!"
General: "That's a strange request, but drop your trousers, son!
As the general begins the measurement: "My god, son, where are your
balls?"
Soldier 3: "Falkland Island, sahr!"
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