Jokes Religion and funny pics
New Priest
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardlyspeak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor
replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I
put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get
nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He
proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he
found the following note on the door:
1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior
and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say
he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T"
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this
and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me."
12. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for
the grub, yeah God.
13. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at
St.Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
Another joke Religion ? (77)
Died in the Service - Baseball In Heaven - Preacher Ass Show - Nun in a Taxi - Cover this to Prevent Disease - New Prospects for Lovin - Gay, Jew and Italian - Typing Contest - Vodka in the Pulpit - Sleeping in Church - New Monk - Religious Ideology - Blind Man and Nuns - Nude Nuns - Study Very Hard Son -
Funny Pics Funny random !
